“Don’t shoot!”..

In the early 80’s myself, parents, sister & two brothers moved into our suburban three level house w/an attic (yes it was big for our little beings & bodies). A month before we moved, my sister would ask me every night before falling asleep in our shared bedroom “Do you want to move?” Yes, she was the annoying sister, intentionally of course. So that summer move-in day on a Saturday arrived. The elderly man/owner died in one of the rooms of our new house, that is actually one cool & a little creepy part of the story. The real estate agent mentioned to my parents that the previous owner owned a gun, hidden somewhere in the house, he had no relatives or he didn’t tell anyone so no one knew where. When my parents relayed the news to us out of caution, our little eyes widened up w/excitement upon hearing, to kids ‘it was hella cool news’. So the race & treasure hunt began for myself & my siblings to find it. So the whole summer we looked all over, thoroughly. Up & down, high & low & by the end of summer our young tired minds were sure the gun was not in OUR house. Even at one point, I almost convinced my parents to bash down a wall, I was so sure it was behind this particular wall. After this walls wallpaper was stripped off there was a sketch of a skeleton playing the piano (& it was a really good drawing too, not from an amateur). I screamed, “THE GUN IS IN THE WALL, I KNOW IT IS!” My parents turned to look at each other & I was gone, went off looking for a sledgehammer and when I returned I knew bashing in a wall was too good to be true by my parent’s expressions. “No, we’re not knocking down this wall. If the gun is behind there, it will keep us safe & is staying there.” So, convinced once again that the gun ‘was’ in our house, behind the wall, my siblings & I started our new school year & eventually forgot about it.

A few months later as I was looking out the window that winter day, at 8 inches of snow I yelled, “Yeah, no school” & did a happy dance in my pink onesies! My older brother & sister & I were up in the playroom on the 3rd floor (my little brother was downstairs). My brother John was rolling around the room on this little square wooden bench w/wheels, he had his hands underneath it to support himself. All I heard him say was “A trap door”, as he slid it open he pulled out a box of bullets. I watched as all this unfold with razor sharp focus ready to jump in & try to avert the problem, then he pulled out another box & opened it & screamed, “It’s a gun”! He then pointed in my sister’s direction & she screamed, I shot up quick on my feet realizing with a solution & ran downstairs to my mother screaming, “MA, WE FOUND THE GUN!” Everything was a blur after that, so she must’ve ran up the stairs grabbed the bullets & gun & hid them till my father got home. Hours later I watched my dad take the gun out of the box in the kitchen, knowing it didn’t have any bullets in it, he put only his arm w/the gun in hand out the back door pointed up & pulled the trigger….The gun w/out bullets didn’t go off. A couple of weeks later my father came home from work & said “We’re going to the gun range with Mr. McKenzie, the guy I work with tomorrow, he owns guns”, I didn’t know how or what to think about that. So my turn was up, it was an outside range. My father had to hold my eight-year-old frame down by my shoulders so I wouldn’t thrust back ten feet & crack my head. I don’t know about my head cracking, but I do know after shooting it if he didn’t secure me by my shoulders I surely would’ve shot back ten feet & landed on my ass.

I didn’t enjoy the experience, it was not pleasant or thrilling for me at all (& I was young, if I didn’t enjoy shooting a gun as a kid I definitely wouldn’t enjoy it as an adult). And I have no desire to shoot a gun at a range ever again.


Science is cool, but not very forgiving..

And that is why I love it, find it beyond fascinating…..Science owns & controls us, we don’t own or control science, respectfully. It is a never-ending living entity, we are its subjects & we need to listen to what it’s telling us & document it accordingly & carefully work on correcting it if we see the need w/out disrupting that natural progression of it. It’s dangerous to ignore what it’s telling us or to make up our own finding & form our own opinion of it. It’s dangerous to dismiss it & to disagree with it, again it controls us not the other way around & we need to respect that. Global warming is real, & the slow demise of it on our planet is partly due to humans/humanity, humans are ruining our planet & once we all know that & to respect & work beside it, things could/will change for the better. Taking over & forming our own opinions is disrespectful & wrong. The article in The Hill about the CDC being banned from using the phrases ‘science & evidence-based findings’ from official documents from the current administration…..That is part of the problem with some power hungry political brains in Washington & some scientists, about ignoring/sweeping it under the rug & dismissing science-based facts, taking over & forming their own opinions & findings of global warming, again humans do not control it. Science & science-based findings do not lie (When whichever scientist is documenting it correctly, mind you) & it is very very dangerous for the current administration to ignore these findings, to take control over it & form their own opinion. It’s ignorant & arrogant & will hurt our planet very badly in the long run. Humans always try to take over something & own it when it’s sometimes beyond their scope & control, & they shouldn’t. It is always their first instinct, & when it comes to global warming and some parts of science they’re wrong. Oh, boy do I miss Barack Obama’s administration.

Back to my love & respect for science….OK, with industries like technology & finance, for instance, it is black & white with right & wrong answers & can be taken over & controlled by people. With science it can not, it is not black & white, with right or wrong answers. Again it controls us & we need to respectfully stand beside it, listen & document it precisely & accordingly & work w/it. In science life will always find a way, in science there are endless beyond endless possibilities that can never be controlled (it would be just wrong) & can’t be completely understood by humans, a lot of it is 100% unpredictable & I find great comfort in that, it is the great unknown (not to mention THE GREAT UNKNOWN of our solar system, my bad, can’t believe I almost forgot that). Humans, the planet, the world we live in is about & is science. It’s not to be controlled or ran by humans, it’s only to be respected & worked by & on its side. Btw this piece is not a comparison of science/evolution & religion, I believe both exist in this world. I believe in some sort of otherworldy celestial beings. I hope the next elected US president in 2020 or 2024 to be a scientist or from scientific field very badly! I think it is so important & needed!

I work in the clinical trial medical research field (the lab I work with detects cancer on a molecular level), & those medical researchers got it down. They listen to it, they understand & give it the respect it needs & knows the importance of working beside it & not working over or above it. Btw I just love this quote below, & it has nothing to do w/not getting involved & protecting the human & animal species when the time arises, as we 100% should.

“When we think we have something figured out & 100% completely confident about science, or species close to becoming extinct, life will always find a way. And science will always have another way.”

I must’ve been Indian in my past life..

If such a thing exists….I just don’t know how else to explain it, it only happens w/people from India. Ever since my teens & exposed to Hinduism & the Indian culture I’ve had a natural understanding, a deep bond and instant connection with Indian (men, women, old or young it doesn’t matter) people & their culture. It’s an instantaneous connection, it never fails, now I just don’t know if I just adore the people (they’re so kind, laidback & so so funny), culture, food (not too crazy for curry though, but everything else I love) or country, or we have a similar humor & we’re just peaceful souls. Or the fact that I wanted so bad to be an Indian woman, where I can wear jewels on my face, a sari & a dupatta scarf, not to mention they’re the most beautiful women. And I absolutely adore Hinduism, I love the fact that they have many gods, both male & female I might add. Radha Krishna is my favorite (pictured above) they’re collectively known within Hinduism as the combination of both the feminine as well as the masculine aspects of God. It is believed that Krishna enchants the world, but Radha “Enchants even Him. Therefore She is the supreme goddess of all. Radha Krishna”.


The infuriating article is below, horrible! It was sad, hopeless, narrow-minded, arrogant & w/an immature mindset. It’s contradicting, to say the least.

Yes, evolution is a natural progression, & millions of years ago when there was no human life to protect the animal species. Extinction happened predictably because there were no means to stop it. Millions of years later we the human race are living on their earth, this is their home & they were here first. It would be inhumane to let extinction happen w/out human interference, it would be neanderthal-like wouldn’t you say? Put aside the animal race for a second. Our forefathers conserve and protect the land for future generations. We’re here to protect the human race, present & future. We’re here to protect our home. The animal species is our home, again we’re living on their earth. Not protecting the animal species, in other words, is not protecting our home. And it’s our responsibility to protect the environment which is a part of their home. The comprehension of how wrong it is, is mind-blowing.

Think of it this way, if we the human race were here first & this was our earth before the animal race. Would evolution be a natural progression of the extinction of millions of humans wiped out by an asteroid or dozens of insidious diseases, such as AIDS, Malaria, Ebola? We live on a planet with the most exotic beautiful creatures, which is a part of OUR habitat & OUR planet. This article was pure rubbish.


When your features match the ethnicity you relate to, but your skin color does not..

I’m mostly Irish & German w/a little African & Spanish. My dark eyes & skin tone comes from my father, my mother is pure ivory w/milky white skin & blonde hair. I grew up in the 80’s & early 90’s, one thing I’ve learned when your looks stand out a little in an all-white neighborhood is that kids are just mean! My sister (pictured above) & I were vilified by bullies, we were called the ‘N’ word constantly & occasionally rocks were thrown at us. My sister was older & took the brunt of it, not only was the ‘N’ word spewed at her daily her nickname was Jimi Hendrix (she’s honored now, of course, he was an amazing musician)! My older brother married young, to a mixed-race girl whose large extended family from Ghana on her mother’s side became a part of our family. It’s one culture that is a part of & in me, which I relate to & who I am.

Sometimes it feels odd having it a part of me & my skin color not exactly matching. Meaning that there are certain things you can’t do or say as a white person around African American people, which is appropriate. But, sometimes I forget & get myself into trouble….For instance, Grace who was an African woman (she passed) who was a part of my family who I sometimes referred to her as Nelson Mandela, because she actually looked like him (now this is w/African American groups I’m around other than my family). And if I use hip-hop slang I can just feel the thought “Yeah whatcha know about it, white girl? Shut yo mouth!” around me. Now, I am not complaining that I have to suppress myself, I do it out of respect. But, it just feels weird & unnatural sometimes.